Troubled Waters
by Tauna Petit-Strawn
Summary: A 'what if' I got off the episode "Day of Reckoning". The story is centered on Ben, though all his sons will be in the story too.
1. Chapter 1

This story started after seeing the last part of the Bonanza episode "Day of Reckoning" and a 'what if' bee began buzzing in my ear. I realize Ben was wearing his shirt when he was staked out. I know where he was staked out at. However, those facts has been changed.

Chapter One

The sun was unbearably hot as Catlin Hawks and her brother, William, rode their horses through one tree after another, and around more than one rock. They had broke camp that morning and headed in the direction they thought would lead them to a main road. However, by three o'clock they were hopelessly lost.

"We're going to have to make camp soon." Catlin told her brother as they headed around yet another rock. She quit speaking and her eyes grew wide; William eyes were doing the same. They couldn't believe what they were seeing.

"Catlin!" William hollered as his sister flew off her horse and ran to the side of a stranger she saw staked out in the sun; his arms and legs were spread out as far as they could be. She could see the damage done to his face and his chest; his shirt lay in shreds nearby.

"Help me get him loose!" Catlin worked frantically to try to get the leather that secured the white haired gentleman's right arm to one of four stakes he was fastened to.

William didn't argue and soon they had the gentleman's limbs free.

"He's alive, but he won't be if we leave him out here." Catlin said after checking the man's pulse.

William didn't have to be told that. He squatted down and slid his arms underneath the unconscious man's shoulders. Lifting the man up, William dragged the man into a nearby cave and got him out of the sun. Catlin followed him inside. "We need more light in here," William said as he looked around, "Only it just might do him the best good to keep it dark and warm for now."

"Well, we have jerky and apples we can eat for now. When it comes to our unexpected patient, we just need to worry about getting water down him for now, but not too much." Catlin didn't see what else they could do and then asked about bringing the horses inside. "There's enough room in here for them."

William didn't like it, but he didn't want the horses outside. "Let's hope they come in without too much of a problem." William replied as he went back outside. As he was going to get the horses, he saw a painted band lying near the shirt that had been almost destroyed. Because he'd served in the military at one time, he recognized the Bannock design. Somehow, he was not surprised. He put the band inside his saddle bag and led the two horses into the cave. He was grateful the animals only balked a little. Soon he had the two horses in the back of the cave, quietly eating from their oat bags.

While her brother was busy in the animals, Catlin had looked over the stranger's skin. The sun had reddened his skin. The burns were severe and some had started to blister, but the damage was not too deep. Caitlin was sure if she could get some salve on them quick enough, there would be no scaring. She knew she'd have to have to get what few rags she and William had on them and get them wet first. She was also grateful for the few supplies they had with them, some of the supplies were medical in nature and was certain she had something that would soothe the man's sun burnt face.

"You might want to cover up our tracks somehow." Catlin looked at her brother after telling him she needed water, concerned whoever staked the stranger out would come back and find them. She would have gone to fetch the water herself only her brother refused to let her do it. After all, he was also concerned that the stranger's tormentor/almost murder was still in the area. Had they known that they were caring for the famous Ben Cartwright or that he'd be staked out by a Bannock Indian no longer in the area, William and Catlin would have felt different. However, with the thoughts William had running through his mind, he insisted on being the one to take the chance.

Catlin had been doing working on mending the only other shirt her brother had; William and the stranger were about the same size, when Ben's eyes opened. She quickly laid down the shirt and flew to his side. The way he was looking past her, and around her made her wonder if he even saw her. "Sir?" She leaned forward a little and laid her hand gently on the top of his head for two reasons. It was on a spot she hoped would not hurt him, and two, she wanted to see if he was hot to her touch; he was. She prayed her brother would return with the water soon.

The fact that it was a young woman who was talking to him did not register with Ben. In his state of mind he was still stalked out in the sun and *Matsu was still talking. He stiffened as he felt pain shooting through every inch of his body, but did not move around or make a sound. Instead, he began to silently pray for the strength to endure without complaining. The Indians looked favorably up on man who died well, and he wanted his sons to know he had died well.

When Ben's eyes closed, Catlin sighed and began to do her own praying. She did not know who the man was, or why he'd been staked out in the sun, still she could sense a good feeling about him. "Fight this you hear; we're here to help you." Catlin whispered as she looked toward the front of the cave. She could see William entering their shelter and sighed with relief when she could see that he had water with him.

~oOo~

While Catlin and William continued to care for Ben, Adam, Hoss and Little Joe sat in their saddles two miles away. They'd been searching for their father.

"I tell you, our 'friend' Matsu had something to do with pa's disappearance!" Little Joe bit off his words feeling angrier than a wet hen.

While Adam agreed that was a high possibility, he wasn't about to voice it out loud, not without proof. "We don't know that for sure, Joe. We just got to keep looking. He's around here somewhere; I feel it." He did too, though he also felt his father was in a bad way. However, he also kept that part to himself. The last thing he needed was to have what patience Little Joe still had leave.

~oOo~

*As best as I could hear (I was watching the episode on You Tube) the Bannock Indian that saved Ben at first, and later staked him out, was named Matsu. If I am wrong, blame You Tube.


	2. Silent Battle and Search Begins

**Troubled Waters **

"Soldier Rest, the Fight Is Over" (circa 1820s)

Mrs. Burke's celebrated Pollacca.

Composed and Dedicated to her, (his Pupil) by

A[rthur]. Clifton.

[aka Philip Anthony Corri, 1784-1832]

(The Words by Lieut. Hall of the U.S. Army).

Baltimore: T. Carr's Music Store, 78 1/2 Baltimore St.

[Source: 036/086 Levy]

**Chapter Two**

William stood near the entrance of the cave and watched as his sister slowly poured some water from their canteen on the man's bare chest, abdomen, arms and face. She was trying to keep the man cool as possible, as he was fighting a pretty high fever. Earlier, she'd taken some of the Aloe Vera she and her brother always carried with them, due to their travels in the hot Nevada sun, and went through the process of making it ready to put it on her patient. With all the blisters he had, he needed it. Though, to be honest, they were more concerned about the heat stroke he had also obviously suffered.

William had had to turn the man on his side more than once as he had continued to vomit and could not hold the water down Catlin was giving him. She argued that even though the stranger was throwing the majority of the water back up they still needed to get some more into him. After all, even a little bit staying down would help him.

William turned away from the scene before his eyes, and looked outside. He was extremely worried. He knew the man couldn't be moved as it would take a few days for him to recover, if he did, yet they needed to get more food. Their supplies were going to be getting low over the next few days.

"William!" Catlin's cry whirled her brother around to look at his sister who was trying to get their patient on his side; he was trying to vomit again. William ran as fast as he could and helped turn their unexpected patient on his side.

"This would be a lot easier if we knew who he was and how far away the nearest town is. We could get help and notify his family." William silently cursed himself for not admitting sooner that he had taken a wrong turn somewhere along the line.

He wasn't telling her anything she didn't know; only problem was, she didn't know what to say in reply. Not that it mattered any, at that moment their patient stopped vomiting. William took the opportunity to go and check on the horses.

"Who are you, sir?" Catlin ran her hand across the man only to find him slowly opening his eyes. She quickly removed her hand and sat back on her heels. She wondered if he would say anything or if he'd simply go back to sleep. After all, he still had a fever.

It took a few minutes for his eyes to adjust to the darkness of the cave. The first thing he saw was the young, dark haired woman with sky blue eyes looking at him with great concern. Since he was still running a fever, Ben thought he might be hallucinating. Not that he minded that at the moment; no, if he was still staked out in the sun then he was at least being blessed with a vision of loveliness.

Because he had not answered her question, Catlin leaned forward a bit and spoke again. "My name is Catlin Hawks. My brother, William and I found you. Who are you?"

Ben heard her voice, but could not seem to comprehend all the words she spoke. It only cemented in his mind he was being blessed with hallucinations instead of having to suffer from reality. He closed his eyes. Though, he did catch the question 'Who are you'. He decided to answer the question, even if the woman wasn't real just for the mere fact it was an illusion he wished were real. That being the case, he managed to get one word out before he sunk back into a dark abyss. "Ben…"

Catlin picked up one of the strips she'd made from his ripped up shirt, poured a bit of water onto it and laid it on his forehead. "Ben." She smiled. "That is a good name. I like it." She proceeded to go through the procedure of pouring water over the man once more. She had to bring the fever down somehow and water was the only thing she had at the moment. Although, William had promised to hunt around the area and see if he could find some wild herbs that might help Catlin with that chore. She was sure he dared promise it because there had been no sign of life besides theirs since they first found the man.

"I'm going for a ride." William, who had checked on the horses, finished checking their supplies as well. "I'll see what I can find and, who knows, maybe I'll come across someone who can help us."

The instant her brother made the comment, Catlin had a strong feeling he would not be meeting anyone. Though she wasn't about to say that. Ben still needed the herbal tea, if William could find the herbs.

Once William had left Catlin found herself gazing up Ben and thinking he looked like he'd been through a harsh conflict and was now fighting a silent battle. With that thought came the memory of her father, who had served faithfully in the military, and her mother sitting on the front porch of their home. They and their children were listening to a friend sing. For whatever reason that existed, Catlin found herself singing the same song.

_Soldier rest, the fight is over, _

_Rest in peace the battle's won; _

_Sleep untill the morn discover, _

_All the deeds that thou hast done, _

_Rest in peace, the battle's won; _

_Sleep untill the morn discover, _

_All the deeds that thou hast done. _

_Soldier rest thy Mistress dreaming _

_now thee in the battle's fray; _

_And her eye with pleasure beaming, _

_Mark'd our waving banners gay. _

_Soldier rest and let tomorrow, _

_Tell of Comrades lost in fight; _

_Then shall thou indulge thy sorrow, _

_Dream of love and fame tonight. _

_Soldier rest and let tomorrow _

_Tell of Comrades lost in fight; _

_Then shall thou indulge thy sorrow. _

_Dream of love and fame tonight. _

_Soldier rest, the fight is over, _

_Rest in peace, the battle's won. _

_Soon thy Mistress shall discover _

_all the deeds that thou hast done. _

_Rest in peace, the battle's won; _

_Soon thy Mistress shall discover _

_all the deeds that thou hast done. _

_deeds that thou hast done. _

_that thou hast done, _

_That thou hast done, _

_that thou hast done._

Somewhere in his sleep, Ben heard the beautiful singing and it wrapped itself around him making him feel comfortable and safe as he could be considering everything.

**~oOo~**

"I didn't say I wouldn't gather men to help you look." Roy gave Joe a rebuking glare. "I said I'm not going to make it so Matsu is wanted for anything unless I have definite proof he's responsible for Ben's disappearance!"

"We don't expect you too." Adam spoke up, more than aggravated at Little Joe for even bringing the Bannock Indian into the discussion before they had the evidence Roy spoke of. "And Little Joe won't speak of it again, will you Joe?"

Little Joe fought his temper down. He knew they were right; he was just frustrated and wanted to find his father. "No, I won't. Let's just get back out there and look."

That was a request no one had a problem with. Soon, in between Adam, Hoss, Little Joe and Roy, a good sized search party had been organized.


	3. Battle Continues

**Chapter Three**

Catlin sat against the cave wall; Ben's head lay on her lap. She'd been trying to get Ben to take the herbal tea, her brother had made from the one's he'd found while scouting the area. William had also surprised her by capturing a couple of nice sized rabbits too.

"Having any luck?" William asked as he sat on a small boulder that was in the cave.

Catlin brushed Ben's bangs away from his still very hot forehead. "Some, though I think it was more of a reflex action than anything. Still, it's been fifteen minutes and it's staying down." The fact that Ben hadn't thrown it back up was a good sign in her book. It must have been in William's too, because he relaxed a bit, though he still looked awfully antsy.

"What's wrong, William?" Catlin didn't like her brother's silence, especially since he had an uncomfortable look upon his face.

William wasn't sure he wanted to tell his sister what he'd found. With the responsibility they had when it came to caring for this man they knew only as Ben, William didn't really want to put anything else on Catlin's shoulders. He might have given in to the impulse to say nothing, but the way Catlin was looking at him William knew he now had to tell her everything.

"When I was out gathering the herbs and getting the rabbits, I found a dead Indian; he was a Bannock." He answered as he leaned forward and picked up some of the Aloe Vera plant that lay near his feet. From the looks of it his sister had been very busy while he was gone.

Catlin stiffened and gazed Ben. The thought that maybe Ben had shot him and had been staked out as a result quickly left. She knew if that was the case, the dead Indian would have been taken care of. "You think whoever killed the Indian did this to Ben?" She asked, as Ben stirred and then cried out for someone named Adam. It wasn't for the first time he'd done that, only the names rotated between that one and Hoss, along with another called Little Joe.

"Maybe, but I doubt it." William pulled out the headband he'd found earlier. "I think it's more probable that the dead Indian staked Ben out, left and then was killed by someone who had no clue to as what the Indian had done to Ben and one who was heading in the opposite direction. Otherwise, Ben would have been found before we found him." He knew there was no way for him to prove it; still, it was the only scenario he could come up with that made sense.

"Did you bury him? The Indian I mean? Did you cover him up somehow?" Catlin thought everyone, no matter the color of their skin, deserved a decent burial.

William didn't answer at first. How could he? What he'd done was so out of character for him as he felt the same way as his sister. "No," he finally answered as he let out a sigh. "I was going to." William turned up his hands and sighed. "It was crazy though. I had the strongest feeling to leave him and anything on, or near him alone. It's like he needs to be found by someone else."

Catlin might have checked her brother's temperature had it not been proven time and time again that his gut feelings were to be highly trusted. Actually, all in honesty she was known for the same thing. "Well, I guess all we can do is take care of this fellow until he can come too and tell us his full name and where he's from." Catlin turned her attention to Ben.

William stood up and started for the back of the cave, and then turned back and looked at his sister running a wet cloth over Ben's forehead for what had to be the millionth time. He couldn't help but sigh again. He'd seen the look in her eye change as she took take of the man, and it worried him. The man had to be old enough to be her father. The longer they had to take care of him, the higher chance there was his sister was going to wind up feeling connected to him and most likely end up with a broken heart. At least, that's what he feared.

**~oOo~**

Ben opened his eyes and blinked a few times. Once his eyes adjusted to the dark, Ben was shocked to realize that he must be in a cave. When he went to move pain shot through every inch of him. He immediately stopped moving. The longer he lay awake the more he realized how horrible he felt. Before he knew it he felt sick to his stomach and was trying to throw up. Before he knew it, someone had turned him on his side, making it so he could do just that without choking.

"Well, that's the first time he's done that in awhile, hope it means he's getting better."

"I think that herbal tea you made him must be helping in a lot of ways. He doesn't feel so hot. Maybe, his temperature will break soon, and he'll wake up."

Ben didn't recognize the voices behind him, but he was enough with it to know someone had saved his life, but when? He thought on Matsu and wondered where the Bannock brave had disappeared to. His thoughts then turned to the hands he felt on his back and on his hip. He could tell the ones on his back belonged to a man, so he assumed the smaller hands on his hip belonged to the woman he'd heard.

Ben shocked both William and Catlin when he spoke in a somewhat haltering voice. "Wh…ere am I? Wh…o are y…ou?"

William and Catlin let out a huge sigh of relief and laid him back on his back. It was William, who knelt near Ben's left shoulder, who spoke first. "I'm afraid all I can tell you is that you're in a cave." William let out a soft chuckle and then explained everything. "My name is William Hawks. My sister's name is Catlin." He went on to explain how they'd found him, freed him and brought him into the cave, along with the fact that he and his sister were hopelessly lost. "You are suffering from too much sun, hence the reason for all the vomiting you've done." William told him. "Your upper front part of your body has been badly burned by the sun. My sister has been applying some of the Aloe Vera we carry with us to help with those conditions, along with the blisters."

Catlin moved around in the dark. It wasn't long before she was kneeling on Ben's right side. "We've had you here for a solid thirty hours. You gave us quite the scare. You must rest and get your strength back. We might not know where we're at, but my brother has had blessed in finding small game for us to eat, for now though, I dare say you will only be drinking herbal tea or water."

Ben sighed. If the Hawks had moved him into the nearest cave, he knew exactly where he was at. He would have told them his full name and given them directions only he fell back to sleep.

Relieved the man had woken up at least long enough to talk for a few minutes…William went back to his bedroll. Morning came early and he would need to go see if he could scare up some more rabbits or something. Catlin remained by Ben's side for another thirty minutes. She didn't want to chance him throwing up again. Once she was convinced Ben would be okay for a few hours, she laid down on her bedroll also.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter Four**

It was almost noon, and the sun was once again blazing hot. Adam was kneeling down next to the dead Indian. Hoss and the sheriff were each sitting on their horses. Little Joe was in another search party. They had found the dead Indian after searching the area they were in all morning. While they didn't know who he was, they still had stopped to see what else they might find.

"Wonder who he is." Hoss observed as his brother dismounted his horse.

Roy didn't have to ask; he knew. "Bannock's call him Angry Bear." Roy leaned forward in his saddle. "I called him trouble. There's a man sitting in my jail cell right now. He was caught stealing from the mercantile in town. He's also been drinking. He claimed he'd murdered Angry Bear, but I didn't believe him until now."

"What is it, Adam?" Hoss asked as Adam picked up a couple of items lying next to the dead man. He, Adam, looked rather pale for a moment.

"Pa's pocket knife and the pocket watch we gave him last year for Christmas." Adam stood up, turned around and held up the items. Now it was Hoss' and the lawman's turn to look rather sick.

"Pa wouldn't just hand over those items." Hoss spoke rather quietly. He just knew his father wouldn't. Both items held too much sentimental value for Ben.

"It doesn't mean he's dead." Adam said as he put the items into his saddle bag. "We'll have to cover up this man somehow. Then we continue looking for Pa. He's out there somewhere, most likely hurt and in desperate need of help."

The sheriff said nothing as. In his mind the man known as Angry Bear had to have both killed Ben and taken the man's things with him or had taken them off Ben's dead body. Angry Bear was known for doing such things like that. Of course, he hoped with everything he had in him that he was wrong. Ben Cartwright was a good man, a decent man, one that Virginia City could not afford to lose. Come to think about Ben's sons might be grown men, but they didn't need to lose him either.

"I'll help you." Hoss said as he watched Adam start to collect rocks; the sheriff did the same. None of the three men liked using rocks only they had nothing else they could use. It's not like they carried shovels around with them.

**~oOo~**

Ben had to bite his tongue, as Catlin gently rubbed mud over his skin; she was out of Aloe Vera and mud was all she could get her hands on. It both hurt greatly and yet felt good at the same time. Catlin, who had started the job while Ben still had his eyes closed, looked up when she heard him let out a low grunt. She felt horrible, but didn't know what else to do.

"I'm sorry. I'm not trying to hurt you." She felt awful at the thought she was doing that; he had suffered enough already. "If we were back at my old home, I'd use flour or tea bags. As it is," she said, "you're stuck with what I can get my hands on."

Ben, still suffering from a fever, but not so high that he was delirious, gave her the best smile he could and assured her he understood. "I...I know that." He closed his eyes and waited until she was done before he opened them again; he hadn't wanted her to see the pain in his eyes as well.

"You're doing much better." Catlin stood up and walked over to the canteen that William had left her before he'd let to go find some more wild game, if he could. She then walked back over to Ben and knelt down. Lifting his head up, she gave him a bit to drink.

Ben drank the water down as fast as he could, but not so fast as to make him any sicker than he already was. At least he wasn't throwing up anymore.

Catlin felt his forehead wishing she'd feel something besides heat. She prayed the fever would soon leave Ben. She then gathered her courage up and asked, "What's your full name and what happened? I mean, who staked you out like that?" She'd come up with a hundred ideas and wanted to know the truth.

Ben sighed and closed his eyes as he remembered the chain of events that led to Matsu staking him out in the sun and then leaving him to die. How Ben wished the white man and their darker skinned neighbors could live in peach with each other, instead of fighting like cats and dogs. It was all so senseless. Matsu's wife never would have been killed if the bad that lived among both people would just change their ways enough to at least be decent to each other.

Because Ben didn't answer, Catlin assumed he'd fallen back to sleep. Only when she started to move away did Ben speak, though he kept his eyes closed. "My name is Ben Cartwright. I own this land." He answered and then began a shortened version of the events leading up to his being staked out. *****"A while back I was attacked by a Bannock Indian and was badly injured. He would have killed me outright only his brother saved me. I befriended the one who saved me and gave him and his Shawnee wife land. Long story short, his wife was killed. Matsu killed the man who killed his wife and then sent for me. I went to him hoping to bring him to his senses."

When Ben quit speaking, Catlin finished for him. "And he staked you out and then left you to die too."

Ben, who still felt bad over what had happened, sighed and whispered, "Yes."

"My brother found a dead Indian while he was out hunting." Catlin told him, "Looks like someone found your 'friend'." She was shocked when Ben told her different.

"He found me after Matsu left." Ben let out a tired sigh. "Like I have said many times, the bad men in this life make things darn near impossible for the good men among us. Angry Bear saw my situation and took things off me that belonged to me. Told me since I would be dead soon, I wouldn't miss them."

Catlin felt sick to her stomach. The Indian had come way to close to being proved right. As she thought on the Bannock, she remembered William, who was out hunting again, and she sat up straight. "How many Bannock are in this area?"

Ben took a deep breath as pain was continuing to shoot back and forth, and up and down his upper torso. "None, Matsu and Angry Bear were the exceptions."

Relief flooded over Catlin as she took the last of mud and finished applying to Ben's skin.

~oOo~

*****This is a brief recap of some of the basic facts when it comes to "Day of Reckoning".


	5. Search Continues, Chat in the Cave

**Chapter Five**

The wind was beginning to kick up a storm; it was blowing hard enough to make it everyone searching for Ben think that they needed to wait until later. In fact, the group Little Joe was leading did just that while the youngest Cartwright went to join his brothers and the sheriff. He wasn't very happy to find the sheriff had returned to Virginia City and his brothers weren't that far from home.

A break; it was something Ben's sons and the lawman would not have taken had they realized just how close they had been to finding the missing Cartwright Patriarch. In fact, they had almost found him. The thing was that when Adam, Hoss and the sheriff were in a position to have been heard by Ben and the Hawks none of them heard the men yelling his name. Ben's fever had still been quite high and thought he was hallucinating; Catlin had unintentionally taken a snooze and William had been out hunting some rabbit. As it was Adam, who could see their house from where he sat on his horse, was trying to talk some sense into his baby brother.

"Open your eyes!" Adam had to raise his voice to be heard above the wind. "The sky is darkening and there's thunder rumbling! We can't continue the search until the storm is over!"

Little Joe knew Adam was right; it didn't mean he had to like it, though. The longer their father was missing the higher chance they had of losing him forever.

"Joe!" Hoss too had to raise his voice, "Let's get to the house before the rain hits. I promise! The moment the storm is over, I'll be right with you. We both will!"

Joe grumbled and turned his horse towards the house. His brothers were right. The storm would not help the search in any way. By the time the boys reached the house, the rain was falling hard. They took care of the horses as quickly as they could and then hurried into the house, having no choice but to wait the storm out.

**~oOo~**

Ben lay still listening to the rain outside the cave. His fever was almost nonexistent, though he was still in a great deal of pain. In fact, if he wasn't for the rain and the fact that every time he moved excruciating pain shot through him, the Hawks would probably be transporting him home.

Ben was thankful for the cool breeze that blew through the opening if the cave and across his face. He would have loved to feel it against the rest of his upper body only, out of the fear that the storm would only hinder his recovery, Catlin had insisted on keeping a blanket over him. She had it clear up to his chin and kept the fire going that Will had built in the middle of the cave. Unfortunately the roughness of the fibers' and Ben's still very raw and sensitive wounds made them more painful and irritated his new skin.

"I'm so sorry, Ben, but with the wind and the dirt that's blowing in, I'm afraid the wounds," she said talking anything from blisters that had popped on their own to his burnt skin, "will only get infected if I don't keep you covered."

Ben was surprised at the young woman's sincere words; he could see the tears brimming at her eyes. She need not feel so guilty; "tough love" he had always called it when he had to administer nasty medicine, or scrub out dirt scrapes and wounds to keep his boys healthy and alive.

"Please don't feel guilty; you are doing everything you can." Ben felt better when he saw the young women try to smile. And it was hard the heat and scratch of the blankets was near driving him crazy, but at least his mind was a little less foggy, so he tried to continue the conversation and get both their minds of their immediate concerns. "I have never thanked you and your brother for taking care of me." Ben spoke as another gust of wind blew into the cave. "When I get home, I'd like to repay your kindness somehow." He did too. He knew full well he'd be dead, or darn near dead, by now if they hadn't found him.

Catlin looked up at him and smiled. "Don't worry 'bout that. William and I did not step in thinking to get paid in any other way than seeing you survive this ordeal. I just wish," she replied as she thought on how her brother had been forced back into the cave before he could get the herbs needed to help with Ben's pain, "we could do something more for you now."

Ben knew what she meant. It only made him smile. "You are." Then wanting his mind off his pain as much as possible, Ben looked at Catlin and asked her to tell him more about her and her brother.

Catlin turned up her hands and began talking. "Not much to tell, my parents died a few years ago and, having no husband, I went to live with my brother and his wife. All was fine until she died in childbirth last year; the child died too. Since then, William has 'had the need to wander'." She rubbed the bridge of her nose and continued. "He was running from his grief, I guess. In the past few months he started coming to his senses, and we'd decided to head back to California." She chuckled as she thought of all the wrong turns they'd taken as she told Ben why they were in the area. "I can't help but think," she said as she handed Ben another cup of water, "that the man upstairs wanted us to find you, to help you."

Ben liked that idea. "I best say a few extra thanks in my prayers tonight, then." He smiled. He might have said more only he caught the look in Catlin's eyes as she stood up and excused herself. She was going to talk to her brother.

Again, Ben wondered about that look he'd seen in her eyes. The look he'd seen was of one who didn't just feel compassion on an injured stranger. No, it was more than that; the look spoke of one who had become attached to the person they were taking care of. He'd heard of it happening in more than once occasion. As he thought on it, he wondered if he should discourage her or not. After all, he might or might or might not like her well enough to take a chance. It's not like he'd had the chance to get to know her.

By the time William and Catlin walked back up to where Ben was lying he, Ben, had his eyes close and was starting to somewhat drift back to sleep. When he felt Catlin kneel beside him and felt William standing on the other side of him, Ben played possum in order to hear what was being said between the two siblings.

"You have let yourself grow w feelings for him." William stated the fact without any emotions in his voice, though his concern could easily be seen in his eyes.

"He is a good one; a good man." Catlin brushed Ben's hair off his forehead. An action that made Ben relax even more. It felt good to know someone would be watching over him while he was sleeping.

"He is grateful to us for saving his life." William put his hands on his hips and did his best to make his sister see nothing would come of her feelings for the man before them. "Once he is back with his family, he will not have any need for you. I mean, other than that of a friend. You are twenty-four and young enough to be his child."

"I know our ages." Catlin said as she ran her finger lightly down the side of Ben's face. His face was quite red in spite of the Aloe Vera that had been applied time and time again to the affected areas upon his body. She sat there and caressed his soft white hair. Caitlin couldn't help how she felt about him, maybe it was just a connection because she had nursed him, but her heart said other things, there was just something about Ben that had her fearing for his life and feeling his pain that just wasn't about the Good Samaritan in her. Caitlin truly feared if Ben was lost then she too would have lost something so very precious.

Seeing the look in Caitlin's eyes, all William could do was mutter to himself, saying he hoped Ben would at least give her a chance if she felt that strongly about him.

It was a thought that Ben took with him as she stroked his head. With the gentle rhythm of her touch he succumbed to the sleep he still badly needed; the whole time Catlin, who had started humming softly, stayed by his side.


	6. Troubled Waters and More about Ben

Chapter Six

Adam and his brothers once again mounted their horses. The rain had stopped and the sky had begun to clear. None of them had slept well; they had been too busy thinking about their father and trying to deal with the fact that Ben might very well be lying dead somewhere on the Ponderosa. Naturally, it was a thought they continued to push aside.

Hoss and Little Joe both turned their heads and looked at Adam, as the man looked up at the still, somewhat, cloudy sky. He was speaking, only they didn't know if it was to himself or to them. "I'm on cold hard ground and I feel like I might as well be out at sea riding troubled waters right now."

For a moment neither Hoss nor Little Joe said anything. What were they supposed to say? They felt the same way; they just didn't have the gift for words the way their older educated brother did. Finally, it was Little Joe who spoke up. "Troubled waters or not, we have to get this search started. Pa's out there somewhere and I, for one, intend to find him and bring him home!" He pushed Cochise forward. His brothers said not a word, but pushed their horses forward too.

~oOo~

"Here," Catlin held out her hands to Ben, who was struggling to stand up, "let me help you."

Ben smiled, took a hold of her hands, and stood up. "Whoa!" he found himself wobble slightly. Fortunately, he was able to remain standing.

Fortunately, Catlin understood while Ben's legs had avoided being burned; due to the fact that his pants had not been removed, they had still been weakened by the ordeal. She helped Ben to the nearest boulder and had him sit down. "You can be up, but you cannot push it. You are still recovering."

"How long as William been gone?" Ben asked, as he watched Catlin walked to the side of the cabin where William's extra light brown shirt hung on a small slab of rock that stuck out from the wall of the cave; the shirt she'd fixed so that Ben could wear it.

"About an hour," she answered, as she retrieved the shirt and walked back to where Ben sat, "he should be back soon." Catlin kept the fact that William had actually said he wouldn't be gone long and that she was starting to get worried to herself; she didn't think Ben needed to start worrying too.

"Let's see if we can get this shirt on without hurting you." She held it out and up for Ben, who started to slide his right arm into the shirt's sleeve. He was relieved to find that, even though he was still in pain because of the affects of having received such a severe burn, the shirt did not hurt his skin to the point of having to swallow his pride and admit he needed to go without it. However, when he went to button it, Ben was horrified to find his fingers hurt too bad to handle the simple task.

Seeing his dilemma, Catlin spoke cautiously. "May I help?" There was a 'please don't be offended' tone in her voice; Ben heard it and smiled.

"If you would, I'd greatly appreciate it," he answered as she stepped forward and taking a hold of both sides of the shirt's opening began buttoning it up. As Catlin buttoned his shirt, Ben had the conversation between Catlin and William; the one they didn't know he had heard, play itself again in his mind. Because of it, he felt like Catlin needed to know more. He was sure that if she did, the look he'd seen in her eyes a time or two would leave. Only, he didn't want her to feel embarrassed knowing he'd heard every word. That being the case, he simply brought up a few subtle facts in conversational form.

"I know my sons will be as grateful to you and your brother as I am." Ben said as she finished buttoning the last button on the shirt. Even as he said the words Ben felt horrible for the sons who must be going crazy trying to find him.

"How many do you have?" Catlin as she walked sat down on the small boulder that William had managed to move inside the cave and sat less than a foot away from Ben.

"Three," Ben's eyes lit up as he talked about each son and what they were like.

"Their mother must be proud of them, also." Catlin said, secretly using it as a way to find out if his wife was still alive. After all, he wore no wedding ring. Even as she asked the question she thought on her own dear departed mother, Louise. L. Hawks. She had been one very special lady.

Ben's eyes had a fleeting moment of sadness pass over them; Catlin did not miss it. She kicked herself. She should have found a different way to find out if he was attached or not. "I'm sorry." She said as she looked at Ben. "I just assumed…I'm sorry."

Ben gave her a kindly smile. "Their mothers are dead." He began telling her of his first true love, Elizabeth. "She was a good woman, though I hate to admit it. I'm not sure she could have handled life out here in the west. Who knows," he sighed. "Maybe that is why the good Lord took her home." He then went on to tell Catlin about Inger and how she'd been killed by Indians shortly after Hoss' birth. He finished by telling her how he'd met Little Joe's mother. "I'm sure, where ever they are; my sons' mothers are very pleased with the sons they blessed me with." Just as he finished speaking he turned slightly and a couple strong bolts of pain shot through his entire upper body. He stiffened, held his breath and waited for the pain to subside.

"Ben!" Catlin flew to her feet and was by his side in a split second.

"I…I guess my skin didn't appreciate the movement." Ben replied after he exhaled and took a couple of deep breaths, as he looked into Catlin's eyes. It shook him to the core to see a look that showed a great deal of compassion in her eyes.

"I wish I could take the pain upon me instead of having it inflicted upon you," she said as she laid a gentle hand on his shoulder.

"You did what you thought was best. Really, I'm fine." He lifted his hand and took a hold of hers.

In that instant they both felt a force, one so strong it seemed to be pushing the two of them together. It was all Ben could do to remind himself that he did not know Catlin well enough to be kissing her. On top of that, such a compassionate, young woman deserved to be treated like the lady she was. This being the case, Ben let go of her hand.

Catlin, who had felt sure, for a moment there, Ben would kiss her, was disappointed, but she did not show it. It was like William said; Ben was old enough to be her father. She would not push herself on him, though it didn't mean she would stop hoping he'd someday notice her in a light other than a friend.

The silence that had fallen between them was broken when they heard William's excited cry outside the cave. Ben and Catlin turned to see William standing in the opening of the cave, and he wasn't alone.


	7. Home

Chapter Seven

Finally, Ben lay in the comfort of his own bed thinking on the past few hours.

_"Pa!" Little Joe hurried past William and stopped in front of his father, appalled to see how red his father's face, neck and the palms of his hands looked. "Who did this to you? Was it Matsu?"_

_Out of the corner of his eye, Ben could see Adam, Hoss and the sheriff silently asking the same question. He knew his youngest son too well and also feared what the man behind the badge might do. He just wasn't up to dealing with it quite yet. Fortunately, Catlin came to his rescue and Adam, along with Hoss, backed her up._

_"Your father needs rest right now, not a heated discussion when it came to who did, or did not, do this." She gave the youngest Cartwright a stern glare and then turned her attention to his brothers. "Your father needs to lie back down. If you wish to take him home, you'll need to bring a wagon." She laid her hand on Ben's back as she spoke. _

_"But…" Joe started to speak only to have Catlin give him another hard glare. The others had to stifle a laugh at how fast Little Joe shut up. It also gave them a bit of admiration for the young woman who with the help of her brother had saved their father's life._

_"I'll go get a wagon." Adam said as he turned and hurried out of the cave. _

Ben couldn't say the ride had been the most pleasant, only he wasn't going to complain. He was home, in his own bed, with his sons and good friends. The Hawks had been invited to stay on the Ponderosa for a little while. When a knock came on the door, Ben turned his head. "Come on in; it's not locked!" Somehow he wasn't surprise to see his sons and the Hawks all file into the room. From the displeased looks on his sons' faces, he figured the lawman had told them about the visit he'd paid Ben that morning and that Ben had refused to confirm or deny that it was Matsu that had staked him out and then left to let nature take its course. The looks also told him that Catlin had kept her word not to mention the conversation they'd had in the cave concerning Matsu. Though, he did not voice those thoughts until Hoss spoke and proved him right.

"If Matsu did this to you, he'll be back once he finds out you're alive." Hoss did not care to think about that happening. His father had already been made to suffer too much.

"He's right, pa!" Little Joe's voice was full of anger, though he did not raise his voice as he knew that, even in his weakened state, Ben was not a force to be reckoned with.

"We have to talk, Pa." Adam crossed his arms and stood in such a way that reminded Ben of him; when he got it into this mind that he _would _get answers.

His sons concern made Ben literally smile. It was good to know they cared. However, right or wrong, he could not find it in himself to hand anyone any ammunition to use against a man whose actions were, in Ben's eyes, motivated by the most intense grief a man could experience. As he lay in bed, Ben remembered Matsu's words; the ones he spoke before he rode away…words that Ben had known were all too true as Matsu had taken him miles away from where Ben had told his boys he would be.

"_It would take, as you say, 'a miracle' for anyone to find you here." Matsu sat on his horse glaring down at Ben. "I am going back to my people so let the Great Spirit decide whether you live or die." He'd then ridden away leaving Ben to suffer the heat of the sun and the delusions that would eventually come, until he slipped into unconsciousness. _

Ben sighed inwardly. By the Hawks miraculous appearance, his life had been spared, but did he really want to mar the joy of his survival with the obsession of hunting Matsu down in order to have their law deal with him? After all, the man was only living by the law he had been raised with. Isn't that what all men on earth did, follow the ways they were raised with and embraced if they so chose?

"There is nothing to discuss, Adam." Ben's voice grew firm. "What's done is done. And, by the grace of God and the help of William and Catlin, I'm still alive. Let's just be grateful for that."

In Adam's mind his father had come the closest he ever would in admitting what the rest of them suspected and, without his actually saying it, the law would have no way to bring Matsu back to Virginia City. He didn't agree with his father's choice, only it _was _his choice. He shook his head and put his hat, which he'd taken off when he entered the room, "It's good to have you home, pa. However, I need to leave. I still have work to do."

Hoss, like Adam, knew it was useless trying to get his father to talk anymore and excused himself, after doing as Adam had done, welcomed their father home.

Little Joe was another story. He continued to argue with his father. "We can't just let him get away with this! All you did was try to help him and his wife! Other men's choices should not be held against you!"

"So, your answer is to every wrong committed in life is to go after each and every offender and even the score?" Ben's eyes narrowed as he sent his youngest a reprimanding glare. He had seen what happened to men who chose hate and anger, and it wasn't the first time he had suffered because of 'that attitude'. However, he would not lower himself to their level. Nor, if he could help it, watch his son do the same.

"Well, no," Joe began to argue only to find himself warring with his emotion, as he finally accepted one fact; unless his father came right out and said it was Matsu, there was nothing anyone could do. "Welcome home, pa." Little Joe said in a defeated tone of voice and then turned to the Hawks, "Thanks for saving his life."

"No problem," William and Catlin answered.

Ben then spoke up. "I would like to talk to Catlin for a moment, if you don't mind."

William might have argued, but after visiting Ben and his sons for the past few days, he knew he had nothing to worry about when it came to Ben Cartwright. "I'll be down stairs." He looked at Catlin, who simply nodded and watched her brother and Little Joe leave. She then turned her attention to Ben.


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter Eight**

Catlin stood on the porch of the Cartwright's home. Her mind on all that had transpired since her talk with Ben Cartwright. William was standing a few feet away from her, rather upset.

"What are you thinking? We're going back home; back to California," interrupted William, who had been standing in the living room when Adam had commented that he hoped the aging seamstress, one Emma Taylor, could find someone to work with her and, eventually, take over her dress shop. He'd also had his mouth hit the floor when his sister had spoke up and asked Adam if he would take her into town the following day so she could speak with the woman. As far as William was concerned, she wasn't accepting it when Ben told her he was more than grateful for her compassion and help, but he thought she was better off looking in another direction when it came to beaus. He was just too old for her.

Catlin squared her shoulders and turned to look at her brother. The look of determination on her face was one William had seen on many occasions. It was the look his sister wore when she'd made up her mind and would not be moved. "_You _are going back to California. It is _your _home." She wasn't surprised by the shocked look that came upon his face. "William," her voice softened as she spoke. "As you said, I'm twenty-four years old. I am old enough to make my own decisions. I enjoy sewing, and you know it. Now, I know you think I'm doing this just to be close to Ben." Again, she wasn't surprised when William gave a 'humph' as if to say 'well, aren't you?'

Catlin sat down on a nearby chair and continued talking. "I won't deny I want to get to know Ben better. _However, _it is _not _my main motivation in staying." She leaned back and sighed, rubbing the bridge of her nose as she did so. "Truth is…I've never felt at home in California. When I was younger, I had told myself I was going to find a way to leave when I reached eighteen. Only mama came down sick and father needed help with her. Then," she said as she looked at her brother with sadness in her eyes, "Father and Lizzy died too." Lizzy was her brother's late wife. "I got my reason only it was to keep an eye on a grieving brother. You're through grieving, Will. You're ready to go back to _your_ home." Catlin let out a frustrated sigh. "I can't go back to there. I have a chance to earn a living here and I like the scenery, not just the Cartwrights. If Emma Taylor will give me a chance, I'm going to give it my best shot."

William wanted to deny everything his sister said, but he couldn't. He had to admit he'd seen the discontent in her eyes many times in the past, even if he hadn't liked it. "And what if it doesn't work out? Where will you go?" He didn't like the idea of his sister running around the United States by herself. It just wasn't right.

Catlin stood up, walked over to her brother and gave him a hug. "If I have to," she answered as she stepped away from William, "I'll hop a train to Sacramento." That earned her a smile and a chuckle from her brother.

"You best do that." William turned towards the front door. "I think we best get back inside. Hop Sing said lunch was about ready, and Mr. Cartwright actually made his way downstairs. It would be impolite to both men if we were late." He got no argument from Catlin, who followed him back inside the house.

**~oOo~**

Ben, his sons and Adam sat, or stood, in the living room talking to William and Catlin. Adam had arrived home after talking to Miss Taylor.

"Miss Taylor was excited when I told her about you." Adam, who sat in the blue chair next to the stairs, smiled at Cynthia. "She had begun to wonder, if she'd be able to find anyone. She says to warn you she's a hard task master, but after business hours anything's game."

That had William laughing and Catlin shooting him a glare. Before any of the Cartwrights had time to ask what was so funny, Catlin explained, "I'm known to be a bit of a stickler when it comes to work and the results I expect."

"Sounds like a couple of other people I know." Joe said before he stopped to think. It only brought more fits of laughter as both Ben and Adam looked at him as if to ask 'And you expect us to change why?'. The rest of the evening Ben and his sons visited their new friends, knowing William would be leaving in the morning and Catlin would be moving into Emma Taylor's spare bedroom behind the dress shop.

**Epilogue**

William stood by the stagecoach bidding his sister, Ben Cartwright and all his sons goodbye. "Take care of yourself, sis. And don't forget, you always have a place to go to if you need it." He didn't want her to ever think she was all alone in the world.

"I know, dear brother." Catlin gave him a kiss on his cheek. "Don't worry about me though. Emma Taylor is a wonderful teacher and a great employer. I'll be fine."

William knew that; he'd met the older woman and visited her at great lengths while helping Caitlin move in to her new home. Emma Taylor had laughed and told him she'd have hunted him down and scolded him if he hadn't made sure his sister was in good hands.

"We'll keep an eye on her too. All of us," Ben assured him as he nodded towards his sons.

"Yeah, we will." Hoss' grin went from ear to ear and held out his hand. "Reckon you can just think of us as her second family. That is, iff'n ya don't mind."

William shook Hoss' hand, along with the other Cartwright's, and then climbed aboard the stagecoach. He started waving as the coach drove away.

After the coach was out of sight, Catlin turned and smiled at her second family. "I best get going myself. I told Miss Taylor, I would be back by one and it's almost that time now. See you around,"

"See ya," Ben and his sons smiled as she walked down the street towards the dress shop. Every one of them just knew that Virginia City had just gained a very valuable addition to their community.

**TBC**

**A/N I have mental notes for a story that follows these events. Time will tell how soon it happens.**


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